tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4548058107541214892024-03-13T06:45:08.319-07:00TOMORROW IS YESTERDAYThe future is hereSamarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-22349479617237312912014-01-05T10:00:00.000-08:002014-01-05T10:00:04.163-08:00Lada Samara <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I was looking up my name, and everyone knows it is the nightmare of anyone to have a car named after you;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">because it will invariably be a very very shitty car. Unless your name is <i>Mercedes,</i> in which case your name is terrible but you can say there is a nice car with the same name...(although everyone already knows that. That's precisely why your name is so silly.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">So I found a car with my name sake and it was </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">invariably</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">very shitty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="384" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Lada_Samara.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="640" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also, this is a Soviet Russian car...which just sort of adds to the whole thing</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Lada_Samara.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Also my name means <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=samara+%3Dnight+talk&oq=samara+%3Dnight+talk&gs_l=serp.3..0i30.35615.37830.0.38173.3.2.1.0.0.0.62.124.2.2.0....0...1c.1.32.serp..0.3.124.6ZAYaN7Tiy4" target="_blank">DIRTY TALK</a>?! (<i>I'm not even gonna get into that right now</i>.)</span>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-43508651844057307492012-12-03T19:06:00.001-08:002012-12-03T19:06:25.344-08:00Hello GoodbyeOh hello,<br />
and goodbye again.<br />
For a while.<br />
<br />
I'll be away for a year,<br />
making art, travelling,<br />
roaming, laughing, driving,<br />
driving, driving, driving,<br />
meeting people, etc.<br />
<br />
Goodbye, goodbye;<br />
but not for so long.<br />
<br />
You can check up on me<br />
on my new site: http://omarandsamaragoplaces.blogspot.com/<br />
<br />
But for now:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/HBZ8ulc5NTg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
(Here's my website that looks shitty right now omarandsamaragoplaces.com)Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-65860170170835381832012-11-14T01:52:00.001-08:002012-11-14T01:52:42.292-08:00Jack Gilbert is dead &<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oWZ83UcH4Hw/UKNpMYfq50I/AAAAAAAAAPs/51JCGqmqMuE/s1600/Wall+of+heights.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oWZ83UcH4Hw/UKNpMYfq50I/AAAAAAAAAPs/51JCGqmqMuE/s1600/Wall+of+heights.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Roman Ondák’s room of heights</span></td><td class="tr-caption"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I thought for a </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">brief</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> moment that this was a wall with people who have died, which I thought maybe had Jack Gilbert and now I'm sad that Jack Gilbert's name isn't written on a wall somewhere with his death date written on it that isn't a gravestone because there's something not holy enough about a stone next to an impermanent wall, that will one day be washed away with our names on a slab and replaced with someone new. It seems all together more fitting, I think, at least for a poet. Maybe I'll do that one day.</span>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-84745345216383224222012-11-02T18:05:00.000-07:002012-11-02T18:05:32.722-07:00"You just make me a happy person."is a good thing to hear.
Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-8827185075029085792012-11-01T22:26:00.002-07:002012-11-15T00:57:07.280-08:00Things you buy that aren't thingsI'm looking at a belt I bought on a pair of shorts in
China Town, and in the end I don't think I really wanted them, but
the woman was so sweet. And when I was trying them on she told my mom,
"You have two older boys? Boy, boy, girl. That's good luck!"
and I always think about that &
I'm remembering that now. And I'm just thinking
I probably would have paid her 12 bucks to feel like we were lucky
and worry a little less. This happens a lot.
One night me & lexi were staying out really late,
doing what? I don't remember but we had some of the greatest conversations, walking home, sitting on the steps of the whiskey bar, sneaking into school to talk out of windows, and I was sure that it would be more fun if I was half sitting in mine, her talking to my dangling legs-- but it wasn't and then my pelvis hurt.
The bartender called us a cab and hated us for drinking lavender tea and we sat, now on the steps talking about everything, took the cab to our houses, but it was a lot more than a ride, because we talked about about life and work and fear and family and even death. We got life lessons from that cab driver, sometimes you do.
Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-25984754546675552652012-10-14T20:43:00.002-07:002012-10-14T20:44:55.387-07:00Koch <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rHY59uJmXi4/UHuGTWFUubI/AAAAAAAAAPE/yh3nlcutoDc/s1600/koch+ginsberg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rHY59uJmXi4/UHuGTWFUubI/AAAAAAAAAPE/yh3nlcutoDc/s1600/koch+ginsberg.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It's very much a Kenneth Koch kind of day.<br />
<br />
Listened to him in the morning (again) from the <a href="http://hcl.harvard.edu/poetryroom/listeningbooth/index.cfm">the listening booth</a>,<br />
<br />
I just really love listening to poetry...<br />
<br />
I don't remember who or what exactly, it was something like<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Poetry is meant to live on the breath, to be read and heard."</span><br />
<br />
<br />Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-4078727817994382592012-10-14T03:27:00.003-07:002012-11-15T00:58:30.849-08:00No sleep<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/wdPvN7HOLh8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-97GBP3kqYA8/UHqTHP8-x_I/AAAAAAAAAO0/S7l3jzFDKXw/s1600/butcher+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-97GBP3kqYA8/UHqTHP8-x_I/AAAAAAAAAO0/S7l3jzFDKXw/s400/butcher+cover.jpg" width="450" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's not just the Beatles but that's all I'm showing you I suppose</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><br />
<br />
<div>
Making it a point to creep myself out tonight. not on purpose of course, but God, am I doing a good fucking job.<br />
I defy anyone to watch this video and sleep. Like a fucking brilliant commenter said,<br />
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Feel like i just survived an Exorcism"</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<i>--update about an hour later delving farther into the nightmare abyss.</i><br />
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">....god damn it. I really just feel like <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AccidentalNightmareFuel">crawling into fetal and crying</a> right about </span></span><a href="http://www.kindertrauma.com/" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">now</a><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">. </span><br />
<i><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></i>
<i><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-75993665914124840152012-09-27T17:32:00.002-07:002012-09-27T17:40:57.742-07:00I just wish<span style="background-color: white; color: #211922; line-height: 14.850000381469727px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">wish I had a giant climbable book case.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #211922; line-height: 14.850000381469727px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I'm going to make that happen now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My own personal, intellectual mountain to climb.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">No hand chalk needed. No Cliff bars, but maybe a snack afterwords. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i9LhP9asJAQ/UGTvpfkE2qI/AAAAAAAAAOk/-tKvdvH-zIs/s1600/giant+bookshelf,+white.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i9LhP9asJAQ/UGTvpfkE2qI/AAAAAAAAAOk/-tKvdvH-zIs/s1600/giant+bookshelf,+white.PNG" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; text-align: start;">Definitely.</span></div>
Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-50600358234497228602012-09-02T23:29:00.003-07:002012-09-02T23:29:16.090-07:00Years From Now When You Are Wearyby Julia Kasdorf<br />
<br />
and worn out, wondering how you'll pay<br />
a bill or make the rent or meet a deadline<br /><br />
set by some thoughtless boss—and kid,<br />
such days will come—remember yourself<br /><br />
at five: hair light from the sun or just from<br />
being young, new lunchbox pasted<br /><br />
with butterflies, how you hung your backpack<br />
on a hook, then wouldn't let me take your picture<br /><br />
on the first day of school, sending me<br />
out of that classroom, to the car, to my job<br /><br />
where a pair of bats flapped in the hallway.<br />
Bats may be just bats, but one darted<br /><br />
into my office, quick as the boxer's head<br />
that bobs and weaves and never gets hit.<br /><br />
It landed and hung from the drapes, upside<br />
down, as you hung in my body for a while.<br /><br />
Bats are not the only flying mammals.<br />
That afternoon in line for the bus, you cried,<br /><br />
so tired you thought you'd fall asleep<br />
and miss your stop. Years from now, child,<br /><br />
in some helpless dusk, remember that fatigue<br />
but how you made it home to me anyway<br /><br />
in the care of a kind farmer—bus driver.<br />
Recall that once I arrived late, your bus<br /><br />
gone, and when I found you, carefully seated<br />
by a coffeepot in a corner of a dim garage<br /><br />
at the school bus lot, you just said, Let's go,<br />
Mama. Don't tell anyone about this.
Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-79391019147628469512012-08-19T17:44:00.000-07:002012-08-19T17:44:21.833-07:00There will come a time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='640' height='360' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/BiViJkz10nw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There will come a time that you can no longer dance. So,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
you should. Because watching this makes you smile, and it's because</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
dancing is so much childish exuberance and innocence and pure joy.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Because in that moment, nothing else matters. So if you can,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
you should dance. &if you can, you should try to </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
dance with someone else.<br />
<br />
Love and be loved. <span style="font-size: x-small;">Dance and be danced with.</span> Live and be lived with.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-18883394325092879172012-06-15T20:35:00.000-07:002012-06-25T19:18:33.292-07:00Mexico wanderlustSo I'm reading this<a href="http://www.lonelyplanet.com/blog/2012/04/30/are-americans-safer-in-mexico-than-at-home/#ixzz1xvKHNecl"> great article</a> about traveling to Mexico and how it's safer than Texas, and then i'm feeling all pumped to go to my mom/grandpa's hometown, Durango. <i>It's not that bad, lonely planet says and I reeeeallly want to go. </i><br />
Then it says, "The US warns against ‘non-essential travel’ to just four of Mexico’s 31
states (all in the north: Chihuahua, Coahuila, Durango and Tamaulipas)" GOD DAMNIT.<br />
<br />
I'll never be happy in my home town. <span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">WHY? </span><br />
<br />
I just want to get my travel blog up and my feet going.<br />
So I can share it with John and everyone I care about and actually make a good one. Cause I haven't seen any. ARG.Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-47133189043015582892012-06-15T20:01:00.001-07:002012-06-15T20:01:34.612-07:00This weekend is going to last foreverEndless party<br />
till I dieSamarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-18194615486671417212012-06-10T17:18:00.000-07:002012-06-10T17:18:19.789-07:00Hello, New Obsession.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/DjK9GJMBpt0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
I miss Sliders though. (Season 1-2 exclusively)Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-59863137265627241112012-06-06T23:51:00.001-07:002012-06-06T23:51:39.410-07:00Depressed?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;">Just watched the most depressing fucking movie ever.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Literally, want to kill myself. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's what it was all about.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Way to take away the pseudo inspiration I got from that Chris Guillebeau talk.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jesus christ. </span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I guess I should have expected it, it all being about <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19px;">Y</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">ukio Mishima. But God, now I just feel, to quote the movie,</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>empty</i>.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">Maybe I should stop watching recommended movies I don't know about.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">There goes my sense of adventure along with my will to live.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">That's the line of my life.</span></span></span>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-40633053338694963172012-06-04T20:48:00.003-07:002012-06-04T20:48:58.096-07:00In<a href="http://www.jcrew.com/womens_feature/jcrewcollection.jsp#/collection_lookbook">love</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vl5KSDAQMl4/T82BTShcXiI/AAAAAAAAANg/jza58tW40gI/s1600/fetha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vl5KSDAQMl4/T82BTShcXiI/AAAAAAAAANg/jza58tW40gI/s640/fetha.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I should probably be more interesting. <i>Sorry, Marcel.</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-31697134858449460352012-05-27T20:43:00.002-07:002012-05-27T20:43:49.151-07:00andthe slow reveal of Jesus' face.Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-18042998328948821812012-05-27T13:30:00.000-07:002012-05-27T13:30:15.116-07:00something to beWhat the fuck is wrong with our culture?<br />
<br />
Everything is saturated. Everything is shit.<br />
Not so negative, just numb.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Not related:</i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/njG7p6CSbCU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<i><br /></i>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-60683579951865437992012-05-19T16:40:00.003-07:002012-05-19T16:40:45.095-07:00So here's a storyI get angry every time I don't get to hear a song I like on the radio.<br />
<br />
Which might not make sense,<br />
because I can hear music when I want.<br />
I'm a 21st century human in the modern world (redundant).<br />
But<br />
<br />
when I know I missed Billie Holiday<br />
on the radio<br />
I'm infuriated.<br />
<br />
Which, shouldn't make sense,<br />
in hind sight it doesn't make sense to me,<br />
but<br />
<br />
even though I listen to Billie Holiday every day,<br />
I can't help but want the spontaneity,<br />
it is she entering my life,<br />
not me seeking her.<br />
<br />
It's like,<br />
even if you work at the pet shop,<br />
there's nothing like a new cat<br />
to bring it all home.<br />
<br />
<i>( What a prolific way to end. )</i>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-20299172734271919542012-05-19T14:27:00.006-07:002012-05-19T19:07:41.481-07:00Yes<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><i>“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”</i></span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-62774181225105646542012-05-12T16:43:00.004-07:002012-05-12T16:43:59.045-07:00I just found the worst<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;">list of "<i>Reasons to live</i>"</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: 11px;">You can laugh at them with me, they also picked a crimson theme to their website...not a good choice.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: 11px;">They should have called this, </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: 11px;">"Things people don't think when they're going to kill themselves."</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: 11px;">I'm feeling particularly cynical, which I didn't think could happen, but here I am. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: 11px;">I better do this instead of killing myself.</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma; font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><strike><span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma; font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;">Reasons To Live When You Are Thinking About Killing Yourself </span></strike></span><br />
<span style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;"><b>Things people do<strike>n't</strike> think when they're going to kill themselves.</b></span><br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #500706;">1. </span><strike style="color: #500706;">I care enough about myself to live</strike><span style="color: #500706;"> I don't care about myself, I want to die.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">2. </span><strike style="color: #500706;">I believe I can find other solutions to my problems</strike><span style="color: #500706;"> I have so many problems with no hope of solving them.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">3. </span><strike style="color: #500706;">I still have many things left to do</strike><span style="color: #500706;"> If I kill myself, all those things I have left to do will go away.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">4. </span><strike style="color: #500706;">I have hope that things will improve and the future will be happier</strike><span style="color: #500706;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I have no hope, things will never improve and I will never be happy.<br /><span style="color: #500706;">5. <strike>I have the courage to face life</strike> I'm afraid to face my life.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">6. <strike>I want to experience all that life has to offer and there are many experiences I haven’t had yet which I want to have</strike></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #500706;">I don't want to experience the shitty things life has to offer, I've been through a lot and I've had enough.<br />7. <strike>I believe everything has a way of working out for the best </strike> I believe everything has a way of fucking me over.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">8. <strike>I believe I can find a purpose in life, a reason to live</strike> I have no purpose or reason to live.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">9. <strike>I have a love of life</strike> I hate life.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">10.<strike> No matter how badly I feel I know that it will not last </strike>I feel like shit and will continue to feel like shit forever.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">11. <strike>Life is too beautiful and precious to end it</strike> Life's a bitch.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">12. <strike>I am happy and content with my life</strike> I hate myself and want to die.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">13.<strike> I am curious about what will happen in the future </strike> My life has only gotten worse as I've grown older and I'm afraid for the future.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">14.<strike> I see no reason to hurry death along</strike> Death is my only option, I can't die fast enough, <i>I hate myself and want to die.</i></span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">15.<strike> I believe I can learn to adjust or cope with my problems</strike> I can't deal with my problems anymore.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">16.<strike> I believe killing myself would not really accomplish or solve anything </strike>Death is the only option.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">17. <strike>I have a desire to live</strike> I have lost the desire to live.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">18. <strike>I am too stable to kill myself</strike> (This one is just ridiculous...if you were stable you wouldn't be fucking thinking about killing yourself.) I do not think about stability because I am unstable and just think about FUCKING KILLING MYSELF.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">19.<strike> I have future plans I am looking forward to carrying out</strike> I have no plans and no future and am aimless</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">20. <strike>I do not believe that things get miserable or hopeless enough that I would rather be dead</strike></span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #500706;">I do believe that things are so miserable and hopeless enough that I would rather be dead.</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #500706;"><br />21. <strike>I do not want to die</strike> <i>I hate myself and <b>want</b> to die.</i></span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">22. <strike>Life is all we have and is better than nothing </strike>Anything is better than this/</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">23. <strike>I believe I have control over my life and destiny</strike> I have no control over my life.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">24. <strike>It would hurt my family too much and I would not want them to suffer </strike>I am suffering so much that I would rather be dead.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">25.<strike> I would not want my family to feel guilty afterwards</strike> <i>Maybe</i> I have a shitty family or no family.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">26. <strike>I would not want my family to think I was selfish or a coward</strike> Same answer.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">27. <strike>My family depends on me and needs me </strike></span>
<span style="color: #500706;">Same answer.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">28. </span><span style="color: #500706; text-decoration: line-through;">I love and enjoy my family too much and could not leave them </span>
<span style="color: #500706;">Same answer.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">29</span><span style="color: #500706; text-decoration: line-through;">. My family might believe I did not love them </span>
<span style="color: #500706;">Same answer.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">30.</span><span style="color: #500706; text-decoration: line-through;"> I have a responsibility and commitment to my family </span>
<span style="color: #500706;">Same answer.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">31.<strike> The effect on my children could be harmful</strike> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #500706;">I am definitely not thinking about my children and/or think I'm a terrible parent, they're better off literally anywhere.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">32. <strike>It would not be fair to leave the children for others to take care of </strike></span>
<span style="color: #500706;">Same answer.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">33. <strike>I want to watch my children as they grow </strike></span>
<span style="color: #500706;">Same answer.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">34. <strike>I am afraid of the actual “act” of killing myself (the pain, blood, violence)</strike> The pain of death does not compare to the pain of life.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">35. <strike>I am a coward and do not have the guts to do it</strike> That question seems like judgement. You're right, I should just kill myself.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">36. <strike>I am so inept that my method would not work </strike> Better not give up then. On giving up, that is.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">37. <strike>I am afraid that my method of killing myself would fail </strike>I'm probably more afraid of living.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">38. <strike>I am afraid of the unknown </strike>I know that my life is terrible.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #500706;">39. <strike>I am afraid of death </strike>I hate myself and want to die.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">40. <strike>I could not decide where, when and how to do it</strike> None of these things matter as long as I'm dead.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">41. <strike>Other people would think I am weak and selfish</strike> Fuck other people.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">42. <strike>I would not want people to think I did not have control over my life </strike>I do not have control over my life.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">43. <strike>I am concerned about what others would think of me</strike> Everybody hates me. I hate myself and want to die.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">44. <strike>My religious beliefs forbid it</strike> I am not religious.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">45. <strike>I believe only God has the right to end a life </strike>My God has betrayed me.</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">46. <strike>I consider it morally wrong</strike> Not thinking about morals...</span><br /><span style="color: #500706;">47.<strike> I am afraid of going to hell</strike> My life is hell.</span></span></div>
<div style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #500706; font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Tahoma; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Their list definitely made me want to kill myself. </span></div>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-6313426111650167032012-04-29T19:26:00.000-07:002012-04-29T19:36:40.122-07:00t i m eIt's time to leave now or die.Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-81607792602071459812012-04-08T23:48:00.000-07:002012-04-08T23:48:10.456-07:00To Make a Dadaist Poem<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">Take a newspaper.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">Take some scissors.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">Choose from this paper an article of the length you want to make your poem.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">Cut out the article.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">Next carefully cut out each of the words that makes up this article and put them all in a bag.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">Shake gently.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">Next take out each cutting one after the other.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">Copy conscientiously in the order in which they left the bag.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">The poem will resemble you.</span><br style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;" /><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px; text-align: -webkit-left;">And there you are – an infinitely original author of charming sensibility, even though unappreciated by the vulgar herd.</span></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: -webkit-left;"><span style="color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-left;"><span style="background-color: #f6f2e3; color: #414141; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Tristan Tzara</span> </div>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-24735364877098485082012-04-02T03:10:00.000-07:002012-04-02T03:10:57.923-07:00<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>"We are very cruelly trapped between what we would like to be and what we actually are. And we cannot possibly become what we would like to be until we are willing to ask ourselves just why the lives we lead on this continent are mainly so empty, so tame, and so ugly." </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span>Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-28560035462821347022012-04-01T18:40:00.000-07:002012-04-01T18:40:05.869-07:00I just diedon the inside.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KQQYhlWStUo/T3j7cGFZs9I/AAAAAAAAANA/EDsPyBhuHvo/s1600/hubble.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KQQYhlWStUo/T3j7cGFZs9I/AAAAAAAAANA/EDsPyBhuHvo/s1600/hubble.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I missed Hubble. I MISSED HUBBLE. And it stopped playing yesterday. &I want to die a little more than usual.<br />
<br />
What I really want right now, is an extremely nerdy boyfriend.<br />
Who will take me to see NASA movies and knows when they're playing before the last day.<br />
We would get a discount and sit in the front, I'll cry at the end and fog up his glasses.<br />
But he'll be sweet to me and tell me about science.<br />
<br />
sigh, Today is a very Sagan day.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/oY59wZdCDo0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
I'm going to start COSMOS and I don't think I'm going to leave my house ever again.Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-454805810754121489.post-35034730596942338022012-03-27T18:50:00.002-07:002012-03-27T18:50:18.410-07:00You will always find mein the special interest section.Samarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05626854207582882033noreply@blogger.com0